Build on your Psychological Flexibility out of Covid19.

With the arrival of COVID-19, we have been all experiencing some degree of disruption to our daily life. For most of us in Gibraltar, these disruptions have not been life-threatening. Schools have closed, events cancelled, people have been working from home, and travel plans have been postponed. These changes have forced almost all of us to adapt to a different daily routine, but it has also offered the gift of time for reflections. In fact, this pandemic lockdown has been an opportunity to grow for many of us.

Anytime we are forced out of our routine and habits, we have opportunities for inner growth. Some of us have built on their psychological flexibility: the ability to recognise and adapt to situational demands, to remain aware and open to the present moment to be able to recognise and shift behaviour strategies as required, and to engage in actions that are congruent with one’s deeply held values (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).

In a nutshell, psychological flexibility enables people to focus and engage fully in what they are doing rather than getting pushed around by their thoughts and feelings and commit to doing what works more often.

Psychological Flexibility in Action.

Even at an elite level, many athletes struggle with doubt, worry, and negativity. So often we are reminded of the importance of having the ‘right mindset’, a ‘growth mindset’, where we allow ourselves to clear our minds, to be calm and confident, and to focus on the positives, remembering our past successes. Sports psychologists also emphasize the role of maintaining this mindset and urge performers to avoid spending too much time on negative or destructive thoughts.

If an athlete puts too much energy into trying to get rid of those thoughts it can end up having the reverse effect:

-         It becomes counterproductive. The more time spent thinking about these negative thoughts the more influential they become. What you focus most on is what you will get, so focus on what you want!

-         It detracts from the present. When concentrating on these negative past experiences, you take yourself away from the present moment. Athletes are then remembered to stay focused and in the present.

Over time, these negative thoughts can hinder our progress. We may begin to doubt our ability thus lowering our self-efficacy and increasing our tendency to avoid experiences (Gardner & Moore, 2007).

The alternative is to learn to be in the present and to accept these thoughts as they come. If we never committed errors or mistakes, we would never grow. Allow yourself to perceive these negative experiences as ‘normal’ and a part of life.

This will help you refocusing on your current situation but from a different perspective.

How to enter the new normal

As we are starting to turn a corner in many Western countries we are past the peak of this awful situation. We are starting to look at the horizon and think about what it will mean to be part of what has now been termed as new normal. Some of us might be wondering how we can make the most of our new habits and our own psychological flexibility. How can we build on it, as a we continue to grow and develop in our lives, and in our relationships? What is it that each of us can do, that is truly innovative as we go out in the new normal? How can we make meaning out of this experience?

Before letting go of newly created habits and routines, think about what is it that you have really appreciated about the lockdown. Has anything new emerged for you and for how you relate to your loved ones?

This is an exercise I would recommend you do in your own time. Allow yourself at least 30 minutes, take a piece of white paper and some colour pens and answer the following questions:

1)    What have I come to appreciate from this situation?

2)    What have I missed the most? And what have I missed the least?

3)    What change have I implemented in my routine, and in general, that I would like to keep in the future?

4)    What circumstances have led to breakthroughs in my life and in my relationships over the lockdown?

5)    What have I learnt about myself and/or my partner I did not appreciate before?

If you are on your own or in a relationship do this exercise separate and then listen to each-others answers in turns. If you have children, you can do it together and perhaps make use of drawings rather than having to answer the questions. Do send us your answers or drawing, we would like to hear from you!

1.      Gardner & Moore (2007). The Psychology of Enhancing Human performance. Springer.

2.      Kashdan, T., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health Clinical Psychology Review, 30 (7), 865-878 DOI: 10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001